#I have thoughts I shouldn't have every time my grandma mentions that she doesn't believe in personality disorders

[graveyarrdshift]

I feel like I deserve a gold star every time I manage to get through the simplest conversation with my family members without splitting on them

[chrysanthemumpink]

Off topic, (I say that even when there's no other topic being discussed).

But I got my hair done and the beautician said, "you must be mixed." All black Americans are mixed, whether they know it or not.

But I knew what the stylist meant. There's multiple textures in my hair. And you'd have to look closely to find it, but I have a single patch of red hair. So I relented. My grandma is mixed.

With what? No one knows. No one ever talks about it. Not even my grandma. Every now and then she mentions it. But she doesn't know her father, or even her mother for that matter.

Sometimes she says shes half "Mexican" other times "Puerto Rican." All she knows is that her father spoke Spanish. The truth is that it doesn't really matter because there's no way to really know. Not any more. We don't believe in genetic testing.

But I talked about it with my cousin. "You know we don't have the same grandfather right?"

I asked her what the fuck was she doing. We don't talk about things like that. It doesn't matter. The only thing that ever matters is who we say we are.

We have the same mixed grandmother, different grandfathers. None of us know who our parent's parents actually are.

But we were much older when we realized that it was something we couldn't talk about. My grandma doesn't even consider her self mixed but my grandad considers all his grandchildren, his grandchildren.

My cousin and I wondered if it was selfish. Don't we deserve to know everything about ourselves? But the truth is that our parents parents don't know much about themselves either.

My nephew, my brother's son, has a full head of red hair. The same color as the single patch of hair in my head.

It really doesn't matter. But my grandma said that I shouldn't do what my brother did and have children with a local. What she meant is that theres a huge risk of recessive traits. I don't know why she told me to be careful of having kids with red hair. But I know not to ask.

I'm not even light skin by the way. I just thought it was interesting when the hair dresser asked. Are you mixed? I said no but my grandma is.

She said, "yea, I knew it was somewhere."

[askyourwritergrandma]

Hey Grandma! I need your opinion on the notorious "not like other girls" trope and readers projection of hate to every female character who is a little different and who doesn't follow the normal form of female standards. I literally see this all the time in reviews of books, you have a female character who is a little tomboyish, and the second she mentions she likes a "masculine thing" or a "quirky" thing, she is labeled not like other girls" when in reality its just her personality. Thoughts?

Well Anon, this is definitely a very good question. Unfortunately, most of it comes down to opinion, both my opinion and social opinion, which should always be taken with a grain of salt (as they say).

First off, creative critics exist solely to find a reason to be unhappy. I don't mean that you can't be critical of the media you consume or that stories shouldn't generate positive and/or negative responses. Absolutely stories exist (in part) to spark a reaction out of people and sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. But professional critics who get paid to watch things and tell you whether or not they're worth your time are literally paid to generate a false caste system.

Good vs Bad is so subjective on so many fronts that it will always come down to personal preference. (I believe this about writing advice as well, you need to find someone that fits you and your style to really help you along your journey.) What works in mystery wouldn't work in romance. What works in children's action/adventure wouldn't work in horror. What works in middle grade fiction wouldn't work in adult and etc, etc, etc.

But we came to talk specifically about "Not Like Other Girls" and since it is primarily an opinion it will go under a cut:

My opinion breaks down to three parts:

Creative Critics have grown up with a male-centric entertainment industry with music/movies/books/TV/what have you. They are used to and expect that men are the default protagonists and anything that challenges that idea must be held back lest we lose our way of life. Maybe some of them are doing this intentionally or maybe some of them have simply never questioned why it is they feel this way. Intentionally or not, the best thing you can do with this form of blanket 'Rey is a Mary Sue' bullshit is to ignore it. (Because if Rey is a Mary Sue, then Luke is also a wish-fulfilling self-insert so we have nothing to talk about.)

The trope itself is kind of an insult to women. Whether you're the "quirky," "tomboy" or the "other girls" (i.e. the type that wear nice clothes, make up, whatever the comparison is here), you're saying that women have to fit into a narrow category or else they are "other". Truth is women in real life are just people and almost all of them have these various sides to them. The idea that women are make-up wearing, fashion-capable, nurturing gossipers is ridiculous. I've never worn make up in my life, my idea of fashion is an oversized hoodie and I only carried a purse when my kid was young enough to have a constant need of extra things. I am a nurturer who has worked primarily women-dominated jobs (caretaker/childcare/mom/child-based retail/etc) but I am also my family's handy man and I got a set of tools for Christmas last year. I'm not "not like other girls". I'm just a woman.

In storytelling, if you are the one creating the character who is "not like other girls" then what you need to use the trope effectively is to ditch the comparison to "other girls" and to have conviction in your character. That means that she isn't singled out or made to feel socially awkward by every other woman in the story because she is or is not some stereotype of a woman. Men do not prefer her (and especially do not say) because she is "not like other women". She is not more genuine. She is not more honest. Just because she likes sports and can change a tire does not mean that the woman standing next to her that prefers watching The Real Housewives of whoever the fuck and didn't even know her car needed oil is somehow less in any fashion.

This false comparison between women with different backgrounds/educations/skills/life experiences/expectations/goals/preferences/what have you is literally just another method of keeping women and women-driven stories from succeeding. It creates in-fighting and gives the critics an steady point from which to launch their on-going shitty takes from.

Your fashion-forward, motivated, definitely going to catch herself a prize husband woman can change a god damn tire, ok? Your quirky, blue-eyed pixie girl can 100% have been a cheerleader. Your football jersey-wearing tomboy can absolutely know how to bake a pie. The main problem is that this trope reduces women to individual traits and says this trait is feminine and this one is not.

So, just write a woman. Give her characteristics, do not compare her to other women based on nonsense gender roles. But if you do have her be unlike the women she's around (which is fair, fish outta water stories are great) do not make the women she's around less than her, just different.

[erismerald]

MY NEW ROAD - Chapter 1

» Older Daniel Diaz x reader 

» Warnings: mature, romance, blood, gang                                             

Chapter 2

» So i was hoping i could read something about daniel diaz, at the end of 5 ep, and as i was sick of waiting,  so i decided to write a long short about older daniel diaz, so let's go :)

And there I was, in this moment  i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep.

*A FEW HOURS EARLIER*

So HI!! My name is y/n, im 17 and right now I'm living on my own in Mexico, more property in puerto lobos.

I'm a very simple girl, I grew up in LA with my grandparents, I never met my parents, and during my life, my grandparents never told me about their daughter, they just told me that she had abandoned me when I was Little, and as for my father, they didn't know who she was, so I never really cared about that.

I've been living here for about six weeks,I study in a small americam school, near here. I'm loving living here I never thought, that a dream I had since I was little would come true so soon, I decided to live here, because I love Mexican culture and not to mention that living by the beach never tires anyone, and I still have the privilege of seeing the sunset disappear into the waves...

Since I was a child I was very shy and I don't know how to express myself to others anht this is the reason why I've not be able to make friends in this new school yet, I feel ashamed when they look at me or try to talk to me, it's complicated, however, I've always managed to make some friends in LA, people I talk to almost every single day.

it's already 7 am i think i should be preparing for school but i think laziness has won ahaha, I got up and tried to take as little time as possible, I don't want to be late again or Ms. Lopez will kick me out of her class again.

I was new to that school and it wasn't the first time I was late, which I can say I love sleeping, but I have to work harder to make sure that doesn't happen, and I'm going to start right now haha.

I tried to take as little time as possible, of course that for me it's kind of impossible, because, I still had to take a shower before going, but I think at least I won't be late this time, I look at the clock and OMG is already 7:50 and the classes start at 8:00, ahhhhh how will I get to school in 10... Afff so much effort for nothing, well at least I can still get to the beginning of the first class.

On the way to school, I saw him again... I think his name is Daniel, he's from my class but I never talked to him before, and to be honest, I never had the courage to talk to him, well... not only with him, I think with everyone in general, so far I haven't made any friends, except the lady from the apartment next door, and we only talk on Sundays, because we have the same way when we go to church.

  I think I've been looking at him too long... why do I say that? He's looking at me right now. I can't deny it he's beautiful... he's so mysterious, but from what I've seen of him, at school he's very fun, reserved, but fun.

I felt him staring at me, which made me completely ashamed, and my only option for not having to talk to him was to hit him and not, to look at him as I passed by, even with my back to him his gaze managed to make me feel a huge chill, but it's a good thing that I'm already arriving at school.

For real I didn't know what to tell him anyways.

When i arrived at school i came across Ms.Lopez on the way. And I think it was at this moment that I realized I was completely fucked up, I tried to go unnoticed, but without success.

And when I turned back I only saw her ferocious gaze directed at me.

"Miss l/n shouldn't be in class already. Preferably sitting at your desk waiting for me." - she looked at me with a deadly look on her face

"oh I finally find you y/n, thx for waiting for me, and here you have your Spanish book that you lent me." He looked at me and winked at me, so that I could continue with the theater.

"O-of course I do, Daniel, there's nothing to be thankful for" he stands next to me and takes my hand. And he gave me the book, I felt my heart go off a thousand an hour...When I lifted my face I saw his eyes glued on me, why did he protect me?

"Is that why you were late?" She looked at me and then at Daniel, I felt the anger in her eyes

"yes i decided to wait for daniel" i smiled at her, and i felt daniel put himself behind me

"Vamos, no te enojes con ella, maestra. Sólo fue esta vez (Come on, don't get mad at her, teacher. It was just this time .)" Daniel grabbed my shoulders and spoke, I saw Ms. Lopez calm her eyes and take a deep breath.

"Hum being so, i let you pass your delay this time you two have 5 minutes to introduce you in my class, and miss L/N thank the boy Daniel for helping her " his voice was calm now but his words were cold.

She continued on her way to the classroom, and I hear Daniel laughed

"You're welcome!" daniel said as my body moved, his voice was now hoarse, I sounded hypnotized by the voice of him.

"T-thank you for helping me." I tried to be short and quick in my answer. I was so nervous and idk why.

"let's go to class before Ms. Lopez decides to murder us, because we're late" daniel just went on her way but stopped 3 steps ahead of me.

"will have to pull you?" he laughs softly and throws a half smile, my heart, jumped a beat when i saw that smile.

"Y-yes" I just followed him.... When we arrived in the room each one sat in his seat, but for some reason, Daniel kept looking at me and it made me nervous for the rest of the time.

During the rest of the day, everything went as usual, except for the failed attempt by me to escape Daniel's gaze, I  don't know what he was looking for in me, but I think I managed to make him lose interest for a while. I think.

When I finally rang the exit bell, I was the first to leave for the first time, I didn't want to know anything else, I just wanted to get home and enjoy being alone.

When I walked through the school gate, I took a deep breath and tried to rearrange my ideas, how can something as simple as talking to a person make me so nervous?

I'll speed up the walk and look at the sky and then at the sea at the end of the street to calm myself down. I didn't understand what was going on this day but I just asked it to end quickly. Yeah, to tell you the truth, I've never had a boy look at me for so long, am I getting a crush on him? AHHHHH well  I hope not.

When I was almost at home, I felt a chill on my back and soon I could be able to realized what was happening....

"Are you trying to avoid me?" Not that voice, not again.

I turned slowly and there he was, did he follow me? When I looked at him I felt my face boiling with shame.

"Did the Cat eat your tongue?" he looked at me and laughed, and began to approach me.

I tried to ignore to not have to answer, I really suffered from many anxiety problems and did not know what to do in these situations.

"okay i got you, you don't want to talk to me don't worry" he looked at the floor and his cheerful expression went to sadness

"well see you tomorrow at school" when he was going to turn around and continue on his way i screamed

"WAIT"

He turned to me and smiled... OH God that smile was so sweet

"I thought you weren't gonna answer ahaha."

"I'm not ignoring you, or avoiding you...I'm just too shy to talk" I couldn't face his eyes so I just looked at the ground.

"Are you sure? I didn't want to get into it with Ms Lopez, but I knew if I didn't, she'd kick you out of her class" when I looked up I came across the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

It made me blush, involuntarily, I didn't know what to say.

"thank you...and it's okay, I'd be kicked out if it wasn't for you too, so thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome, I've always seen you being very shy with everyone and you don't seem to be the kind of person who would be late on purpose, well, I won't take up your time. See you tomorrow"

he said with a perverse smile on his face

"Oh and if tomorrow you want company for the school I can wait here for you".

I didn't have time to say anything else I just agreed and entered the building.

When I got home I lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling, trying to see what had happened, I didn't notice it, but I felt my body tired and ended up falling asleep.

"Daniel... Something about him attracted me...'

I opened my eyes very slowly, I looked at the window and it was already dark, I picked up my phone and turned it on, I had 5 unanswered calls from my grandmother, this was strange she didn't call me so often

I dialed her number and called...

"y/n honey is you?"

"yes Grandma, what's going on?  I'm sorry I was so tired that I fell asleep and didn't hear you call".

Without telling me anything else she felt like she was crying, but what happened to make my grandmother cry she hardly ever does, and when I say that she doesn't, it's because it's rare.

"Honey, I have something to tell you... Your mother is looking for you," those words left me unanswered, my mother?

No...

No...

Couldn't be, my mother abandoned me 16 years ago, for me she died... I started crying, that person who abandoned me 16 years ago, now its looking for me why? I had so many questions in my mind, I couldn't talk to anybody, I just need some time.

"honey are there? Y/n?" My grandmother called me...

"I'm sorry Grandma, I need to think a little, I'll call you later."

"darling no-" i hung up on her, i don't like to do this but i need time to process

I got up, grabbed my jacket and went out towards the beachWhen I got there I sat down on the sand, and watched the sea, and the waves coming at me, I didn't want to believe that my mother was looking for me, if she hadn't wanted me in 16 years, she wouldn't want me now.... Now I did not even want her back

At that moment I felt that I was not alone there, I turned around and saw a group of people coming towards me.

I got up quickly and tried to get out of there, but it was too late.

Fear sometimes makes us irrational, and at this moment I did not know what to do, I did not know how to react, I was scared, I felt one of the men grabbing me by the arms, and attached me to his body

"hey you, don't move so much kittens, let's talk"

The second man spoke and stood in front of me, and grabbed my face forcing me to look at him.

"so you're the Diaz little princess aren't you?" I wasn't noticing anything, I just tried to get away but without success, I wonder what would happen to me...

I tried to fight and I tried to let go, but unfortunately I only did worse, he pressed himself behind my back and won't let me go.

"Let's teach that boy a lesson, that's what he and his brother will pay to judge us dumb."

One of them pulled a knife out of his waist and approached me...

"NO PLEASE DON'T"

I started screaming, and crying madly, I was now completely scared.

At that very moment, I felt the blade pierce my skin... I didn't know what to do, I just tried to struggle

But when I turned my head, there he was, out of nowhere, the people around me were thrown away, I felt my body fall into the sand...

And there I was, in this moment  i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep...

But to be honest I felt my body warm, from this moment on, it just got dark.

_______________________________________